Tuesday, May 2, 2017

Untitled and a little sad

.... I just am ready to move on from this cambio. It’s just been a rough 6 weeks that took me completely by surprise and robbed me blind. I will be training again. This time a gringa named hna Quirey, I think. She’s from Highland, Utah. Hna Ribeiro will be going to Villarrica. I called the AP (assistant to the president) today to ask if I could talk to Presidente and we went to see him today at 11. (We have our P day today, Tuesday, because yesterday was labor day and everything was closed).

Presidente is such a great man. The greenies are coming in today at 1:00 and he made time to let me come and talk to him. We talked for a long time. Basically I told him that this cambio picked me up, threw me down and beat me up. I don’t feel like I have the energy and happiness to train again, that I was nervous because the last two times I’ve trained have been the worst cambios in my mission and that I hate Osorno. I feel like I am useless here. No one, and I mean no one, listens to us. They are so rude.

It is hard to have a fun, upbeat attitude when I’m not completing my purpose. I literally feel so beaten down and worn out.

Presidente told me that he will pray about it and perhaps they will take a pair of missionaries out of our ward next cambio (we share a ward with elders, so our sector is really tiny, on top of it all).

Also, on P day there is nothing to do here. 

I really am praying that hna Quirey is a really good missionary and humble to accept me as her trainer. Presidente gave me a blessing and told me that he will pray about the situation and that I need not worry.

I was really hoping to leave Osorno and be with hna Heath or with other hnas who are powerhouses and work work work. but I guess the Lord has other plans for me.... I just don’t want to finish my mission feeling like this, so low, so lonely, so done, so tired, so weak.

And then on top of everything trying to figure out schooling rooming all that stuff... I’m just mentally and physically exhausted.

I started having back problems in Puerto Montt, and here, we are outside most of the day knocking doors and trying to find people to talk to. We are on foot about 8 hours every day. My feet and back are really starting to bug me. I don’t know if I need to get adjusted or what but here is always a burning pain in between my shoulder blades towards the end of the day.

I'm trying. I think, I hope, it will be okay. I was praying really hard yesterday as we were walking and scripture came into my mind followed by the words, "Don't you trust me?" I think sometimes with change and with challenges we become really narrow-minded and only focus on the now, forgetting to see the bigger picture. I trust in Presidente and the revelation that he received. I trust in Padre and know that He will be there with me. I just need to cry, get it all out, clean my face, and keep persevering.

I’m not sad about any part of my mission. I just really stressed out and don’t want worry any more about coming home, schooling or housing. And I just hate Osorno. But I’m working on getting over it so I can enjoy it. I’m fine, don’t worry about me. I want to end good and strong and happy. I just have to forget all the bad experiences that I have had here and learn to love Osorno.

Something funny... we were walking a few days ago and a spider was flying on its web and landed right in my eye. 

Something happy... AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!!! HE GOT BAPTIZED!!!!!!!!YAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYA :DDDDDD I AM SO HAPPY!!!!! We found him when I was in Punta Arenas and taught him everything. He was going to get baptized when I was there but they aren't married and she was working on her divorce to be able to marry him. Wow!!!!!! That makes me so happy!!!

Facebook pics sent to my mom

Facebook message she sent my mom. My mom had to translate it to English lol

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